New Cult Member FAQs for the Timlothian Movement

(note: This is an updated version of an early post from waaay back in the day when PJs was mostly text-based humor. I may start reposting the best of these when I don’t have time to make something new.)

Where are all my things?

They have been sold to fund the Timlothian cause (praise Tim). If, Tim forbid, any items have been deemed unsellable (photographs, keepsakes, beanie babies, etc.), well, then they were probably lost in the move. No worries though, your regulation neck cone and smock (one size fits all) are the only possessions you will need from now on.

My neck cone makes it difficult to eat. Am I missing something?

I am afraid not. Unfortunately, cumbersome eating is a necessary side effect of your neck cone. Specialized elongated spoons are provided at each meal, but otherwise you will just have to deal. Unless, of course, you’d rather delay the amplification process and postpone ultimate enlightenment for everyone. Then, by all means, remove your neck cone during mealtime (kidding. NEVER REMOVE YOUR NECK CONE FOR ANY REASON).

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Illegal Activity Business Documents

Advertising, business planning and corporate organization are important factors of any business – even if that business is slinging crack or pimping hos:

Crack Dealer Sales Brochure:

Minutes Summary for a Pimp/Ho Business Meeting:

Gang Meeting PowerPoint Slide:

A Stoner’s Day Planner:


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4 Star Wars Cereals That Were Never Made

Back in the 1980s, Kellogg’s released C-3PO’s Cereal. In 2005, they also released Star Wars Cereal. However, you may not know that a number of other Star Wars-related cereals were considered throughout the years. Below are four Star Wars cereals that were never made:


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