Recharge your faith in humanity by reading this list of funny tweets.
If I owned an island, I would 100% call it: "Isle Of Itwhenyoucallmebigpoppa."
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) August 1, 2014
I am a 33-year-old woman with the butt of a 25-year-old woman and the mind of a 478-year-old haunted tree
— Mariya Alexander (@MariyaAlexander) July 6, 2016
"Where'd you write your book?"
"In a drugstore checkout line. It took six years to process my chip card."— Kashana (@kashanacauley) July 2, 2016
The Large White Guy Collider has successfully split a Chet into 7 smaller sub-Chets, the building blocks of White. pic.twitter.com/g2EL1tlGrc
— Gabriel Morton (@gabrielenguard) July 4, 2016
[screaming at Weird Al]
THOSE AREN'T THE WORDS— Leah Tiscione (@LeahTiscione) July 3, 2016
Must feel pretty worthless to be a real big turtle who's not a ninja.
— JasonLastname (@JasonLastname) June 9, 2016
Boy are you my goal weight? Cause I am never gonna hit that.
— Brohibition Now (@OhNoSheTwitnt) June 26, 2016
I don't care if you're pro-choice or pro-life. I only care if you're pro-noun. Hi I'm Mr. Boggs, welcome to English 101
— Sage Boggs (@sageboggs) June 27, 2016
the safest way to ride a horse is to get fully inside it
— public affairs? keep mine private! (from my wife) (@ruinedpicnic) July 5, 2016
I haven't seen a mens rights activist who didn't look like he was late for a magic show.
— Adam Wilson ★★☆☆☆ (@theleanover) June 20, 2016
me: my biggest weakness is i volunteer information without being asked.
Interviewer: haha, funny. cause i didnt ask, right?
me: i drink pee— derek (@eedrk) September 28, 2015
Was this comment:
😂 Funny
❤️ Cute
👍 Helpful
🚶 Derek
🚶 was this comment derek
🏃 derek is that you come on man— tara shoe (@tarashoe) September 5, 2014
Romeo: check out this cat video
Juliet: omg dead 😂
Juliet: hello
Juliet: romeo
Juliet: i didn't mean literally dead
Juliet: romeo— chuuch (@ch000ch) November 21, 2015
The basketball shot clock was invented in 1954 after a player hid the ball under his shirt for 48 minutes and told everyone he was pregnant.
— Bucky Isotope (@BuckyIsotope) March 19, 2015
Barnes: Let’s do drugs and kiss.
Noble: Dude, what? Let’s sell books.
Barnes: Yea okay. That’s a better idea.
— kid block (@senderblock23) January 10, 2013