8 of the Most Terrible Fictional Products From Cartoons

In cartoons, anything is possible. As a result, the show’s writers are able to write in any fictional product that sparks their imagination. In some cases, this results in mesmerizing products we all wish were real – like time machines or a super cool cloning device. In other cases, the writers dream up incredibly awful products that aren’t so much useful as they are a punch line. Here are eight of the most terrible fake products from cartoons:

Nuts and Gum – The Simpsons

How did such an abhorrent food combination ever come together? As Homer explains while pulling the product out of the cupboard, ” I’m a white male, age 18 to 49.  Everyone listens to me – no matter how dumb my suggestions are.”

Don’t Whiz on the Electric Fence – Ren and Stimpy

I think you’d be hard pressed to find someone willing to play this board game with you. Apparently, the goal is to find a safe place to pee. Fail to do so, and you end up whizzing on the electric fence.

ACME Disintegrating Pistol – Looney Tunes

With all the trouble ACME products gave Wile E. Coyote, one wonders why he kept ordering from their catalog. As you can see from the animated GIF, the disintegrating pistol doesn’t disintegrate your enemy– it just evaporates in your hand. Talk about a worthless product.

Suicide Booth – Futurama

Despite the convenience and low cost of the Stop-and-Drop Suicide Booths found on Futurama, I doubt I’d choose to use them if I was ever looking to kill myself. Available modes of death include “quick and painless,” “slow and horrible” and “clumsy bludgeoning.” And if you feel like splurging, well then you can also have your eyeballs scooped out. Truly, this is no dream product.

Do-It-Yourself Mr. Hankey Kit – South Park

Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo isn’t exactly the most sanitary Christmas hero. Despite this fact, the show features a live-action commercial in which a mom and her kids assemble Mr. Hankey from their own poo. Watch the commercial here.

Vincent Price’s Egg Magic – The Simpsons

How Vincent Price could ever agree to put his name on this product s beyond me. There are some pretty boring arts and crafts here in the real world, but there’s pretty much nothing exciting about painting a face on an egg. Plus, the kit doesn’t even come with the feet.

The Passion of the Christ 2: Crucify This – Family Guy

In a Mel Gibson-heavy episode, Peter stumbles upon a secret room in the actor’s house that reveals one of the worst sequel ideas of all time – Passion of the Christ 2. Thankfully, Peter is able to steal the film and successfully keep it out of the clutches of Mel and his toady priests.

Inspector Gadget

Of all the product fails in the history of TV, Inspector Gadget is one of the most epic. Despite being outfitted with a number of engineered upgrades, Inspector Gadget is simply too stupid and clumsy to make himself at all worthwhile. While some may claim that the real issue behind the failure of his machines is user error, there’s no denying that Inspector Gadget is a product for fighting crime that no real crime-fighting force would ever want.

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7 Responses to 8 of the Most Terrible Fictional Products From Cartoons

  1. S. says:

    I agree that Inspector Gadget may have been one of the worst. Were it me, with a helicopter hat fashioned to my head, I’d be a bit more concerned with it functioning properly.

    Shockingly, there were no product liability lawsuits.

  2. Joe says:

    >”…the goal is to find a safe place to pee.”
    When my dad was a kid (one-room school), the outhouse had a sheet-metal plate backing for the urinal. Being out in the Kansas farm-land, electric fences were typically pretty close-by. So, they hooked up the electric fence to the sheet-metal on the urinal. Back in the school house, they waited anxiously for the first unsuspecting kid to raise his hand to be excused – and then waited for the screams to start.

    I’ve never heard the end of this story, because Dad can never stop laughing long enough to finish the story.

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  5. Abby says:

    You laugh, but when I was a kid, someone actually bought me an egg painting kit, it did come with feet though.

  6. Allegra says:

    I am über disappointed the cornballer from Arrested Development didn’t get a spot on this list. Seriously.

  7. Bryan says:

    I’m pretty sure the Vincent Price’s ‘egg magic’ is a parody of this ‘shruken heads’ art kit (uses apples) from the 70s. I totally forgot about it but was instantly reminded when I saw the frame above.

    http://boingboing.net/2008/11/17/vincent-prices-shrun.html

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