Emailed Excuses From a Tax Accountant

Hi Paul, this is Jake Peters. I’m just following up with you to see if you had completed my 2009 tax return yet. Let me know.

Thanks,

Jake

Hi Jake, did you see the Marmaduke cartoon in the paper this morning? Because, boy, I sure did! In fact, I was about to get to work on your tax return when I opened up the Funnies section and happened upon Marmaduke‘s latest one-panel misadventure! Long story short, I ran out of my office to share Brad Anderson‘s latest masterpiece with the rest of the office, and completely forgot about your taxes. Anyway, have it to you soon.

Best,

Paul

Hey Paul, I think my tax return deserves your attention a little more than a Marmaduke cartoon. Please make my tax return a priority.

Thanks,

Jake

Jake, I feel if you’d only seen the Marmaduke cartoon I am referring to, you’d understand why I chose to devote my time to it rather than your completely unfunny and frankly, boring, tax return. Attached, please find the Marmaduke cartoon in question, which I have scanned for your benefit. Upon reviewing the cartoon, please write back so we can discuss how funny it is.

-Paul

Paul, I don’t get it – are you screwing with me? Because if you are, please stop! Seeing the cartoon is not going to help the fact that my taxes have yet to be filed.

-Jake

Jake, you don’t get it? Well let me explain: you see, Marmaduke is just too darn big and heavy to be carried by his owner!! That’s what makes the cartoon so preposterous (and hilarious). It’s really quite simple and clever when you stop to think about it.

-Paul

Paul, I get the cartoon. What I don’t get is why my taxes aren’t done! Look, will it help if I come and sit with you while you work on it? Tomorrow is the 15th!!

-Jake

Jake, sorry it took so long to get back to you. When you mentioned the 15th in your last email, I went to the calendar to check the date. And, well, as it turns out, the calendar on my wall is a Marmaduke calendar. And guess what? There was that old dog getting himself into ANOTHER crazy situation. Well, needless to say, I ripped that calendar off the wall and went running out of my office to show everyone else. Then, I went home to show my wife. Then, I went to the book store to buy one of those Marmaduke collection books because, doggone it, I wanted to read more Marmaduke.

And now, here we are two weeks later. So anyway, sorry about your taxes, but I won’t be able to do them for you. I’ve decided to quit my career as an accountant and pursue my dream of reading Marmaduke cartoons full-time.

Best,

Paul

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